Inebriation

I am currently slightly inebriated as I just saw some pretty lights which are commonly referred to as fireworks then proceeded to visit a friend's house with a large enough party of people to defeat a level 125 dragon and drank several bottles. Due to the fact that my metaphorical weight is light, that is to say that I have a low tolerance level for alcohol I was rather drunk but having got home, the home in which I am presently sitting and what a lovely home it is, and enjoyed a nice cup of tea I realize that I may have said things I should have not and done things perhaps better not done but the emphasis is firmly on the latter. I will definitely regret this in the morning when the nice fuzzy haze of alcohol induced happiness, like a lovely pink fog made of candy floss, slowly dissolves and fragments in the sharp rays of the morning sun.

 The fact that my currently intoxicated narrative voice is probably not that different to the speech mannerisms I employ when sober on this special little corner of the internet referred to by travelers as my blog is probably indicative of something but what it is I shall deduce and detect, as I am a detective and a very good one at that, in the morning because my mind will be sharper then. Although I did have a story idea (and i shall record it here in case i forget) about a detective who can solve murders when extremely drunk.

 potential extract: The body lay, cold and motionless in the center of the drawing room. "My god", said Detective Stephen Baxendale, as he cast his expert eye over the scene of the crime, "This is some serious shit." Quickly he turned to his assistant, the ever present butler whose name was Timothy Fendleweed, and ordered, "Timothy, get me two bottles of beer."
 "Yes sir," replied Timothy with much enthusiasm for he was a young sprightly creature eager to learn the tricks of the trade though he would not be learning anything with this particular detective since his methods were very specialized.
 Just as the butler was walking away, Stephen looked at the still corpse again and shook his head, "wait Timothy," he sighed suddenly, "This looks like a tough one to solve. Make it a bottle of vodka"
 "Yes sir," came the enthusiastic reply followed by the click of well polished shoes on rich marble tiles as the butler hurriedly exited the room.

 Wow, that looks like a bestseller. What would the title be? The drunk detective or the Pissed Private investigator or maybe the inebriated inspector. I am sending out these alliterations like a machine designed specifically to create catchy titles, an alliteration automaton. I'm not sure 75% of this post made sense but I'm sure even if it didn't the remaining 25% will be absolutely quality reading. Anyway no one reads my blog so its fine, for all anyone cares I could spill my deepest darkest secrets on here (like I did when drunk at the after party tonight, god dammit I will regret it in ten hours time.) and no one will be any the wiser. I love society. Peace out. I did not just say peace out. And if I did, it was meant ironically.

Party Dark God

Cthulhu bringing chaos and madness to a pizza

Cthulhu bringing chaos and madness to public transport

Cthulhu bringing chaos and madness at home.

 It's the last day of half term, I have spectacularly procrastinated every piece of homework given to me until Sunday evening, I have come to the conclusion that I may have just wasted two weeks of my life and I spent a good portion of today feeling severely dehydrated due to excessive alcohol consumption at a party (which was, by the by, the reason why I did not write anything last night. Most of the creative juices flowing through my veins was vodka grape punch which tasted nice until I added popcorn, pizza, pickles, margarine and yogurt to the mix in a sudden fit of alchemical experimentation.)

In the end I decided I would attend the Halloween party dressed as HP Lovecraft's finest creation, Cthulhu, the octopus faced agent of madness and marine dwelling bringer of the apocalypse.


 Apparently Cthulhu was a little too obscure and though I originally explained that I was a madness inducing terrifying agent of the old gods whenever a random curious bystander asked what I was dressed as, soon I was overcome by the futility of the action and simply replied that I was a green octopus. If Cathulhu is out there, reading my blog, then I humbly beg for its mercy for not defending its honourable and terrifying name to the last. This would make it the second deity I offended that night seeing as I swore on the goddess Gaia two months ago that I shall never drink again. I await divine retribution with fear and a little bit of excited anticipation. In the meanwhile I shall receive retribution from my angry Scottish art teacher for the half term homework due in tomorrow that I am yet to complete. His wrath is potentially more terrifying than that of Cthulhu.

Anime Review #1 Puella Magi Madoka Magica

 Since its already fast approaching midnight and I don't have the energy or temporal leeway to write another long article, I shall post an anime review I have just finished writing thus revealing to the world that I am in fact a geek (by the world, I mean my extremely small impermanent readership but hey, they mean the world to me).

Puella Magi Madoka Magica Review

 Studio Shaft can probably be classed as one of the great trolls of the current anime industry (though in my opinion the glorious spot of number one anime troll must be given to Gintama for all its fake film trailers, deceptive series finales and general attitude) and one of its crowning achievements, the ever gleaming polished trophy taking the pride of place within their large cabinet of trolling accomplishments, has to be Puella Magi Madoka Magica.

 The story that the original trailer would have you believe goes a little something like this: One day, a young innocent inexplicably pink haired high school student called Kaname Madoka saves an adorable fantastical animal called Kyubei who offers her the chance to become a magical girl and fight the evil witches who terrorize the human realm. Joined by loving trusting friends, Madoka ventures on a journey of personal growth and discovery to fight unhappiness in the world.

 The studio originally publicized the anime as a heart warming cute affair, the sort of series with an ever-present gentle fluffy pink atmosphere, that would provoke tears and smiles. In this respect they did half deliver, except the tears were that of sadness and the smiles upside down. The entire series is a brilliantly orchestrated crescendo of misery, starting off on a more or less positive mood it quickly begins its light jog down the steep hill of dark tragedy and by the latter parts of the show the jog is a blurring sprint that would blow Usain Bolt out of the metaphorical water.

 By the second half of the series I no longer had any faith in my increasingly unstable emotional relativism because every time I thought I was the most depressed I could ever be, the next episode would come along and prove me totally utterly wrong. This is definitely a show to watch with a phone that has the Samaritans on speed dial in one hand and a box of tissues (To be used for wiping away tears, just to point out in case of any misunderstanding. Yes, there are a lot of supposedly teenage girls who like they’ve only just been weaned off breast milk, running around in cute little frilly dresses and yes the opening does involve the naked title character going through some strange process of reverse cytokinesis. Nonetheless the tissues are for crying into and nothing else) in the other.

 To accurately gauge the levels of sheer animated depression induced by the series, imagine the latter episodes of “Steins; gate” thrown in a blender with the final few episodes of “Mirai Nikki” and Mufasa’s death scene from Lion King. Leave mixture to settle for three minutes then add four table spoons of “Welcome to the NHK” episode twenty-three. Stir thoroughly then pass through a filter to remove any remaining rogue fragments of happiness and the result will be something approaching the levels of bleak sadness in “Madoka Magica” in the same way that beer has alcohol content approaching that of vodka (which, incidentally, you will need to consume a lot of to get over the heart wrenching emotionally scarring scenes within the series).

 The animation is, as expected of Studio Shaft, so high above the top notch that there’s no more ruler to measure by. The art style is that of the standard cute type anime, with physics defying big bouncy beautiful attractive sensual… hair and biologically impossibly large shiny eyes. The true artistic power of the studio manifests its self when the characters enter the magical realm of the witches that is often composed entirely of Shaft’s trademark combination of colouring pencil and animated collage (as seen frequently in “Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei”). This chaotically artistic scenery combined with the cute style characters creates a strange interesting effect that is probably enjoyable even for those who find highly physically disproportionate character designs irritating. There are other demonstrations of Shaft’s cheeky nonchalant surrealism (as seen often in “Bakemonogatari” and “Nisemonogatari” the sort of scenes which seem to say, “yes, this bedroom has no walls, what of it?”) that also help to make the series visually stunning. This combined with a beautiful, addictive and suitably mystical sound track, mostly classical though some not, makes the show worth watching just from a sensory perspective.

 The plot is also far more complicated, both narratively and thematically, than it first appears (Though really viewers should have braced themselves for heavy philosophical content when they first saw Latin in the title). It is often observed that while at first glance they may seem like polar opposites, the genres of science fiction and fantasy are in fact neighbouring countries on the large map of fiction who share a very loosely controlled boarder (no passport checks or anything, let alone barbed wire or armed security measures). Madoka Magica hops easily across this line as the series matures, with rather surprisingly enjoyable twists here and there, the story works as an intelligent deconstruction of magical girls although the ending (of the television anime series, there is a film finale on the way) is a little lackluster. The story and atmosphere is, in short, what you might get if you combined a less pretentious “Evangelion” with a less battle-centered “Mirai Nikki”, that is to say, excellent.

 Taking all this into account, a more accurate summary would go a little something like this: Kaname Madoka, troubled by a nightmare of an approaching apocalypse, one day encounters a strange fantastical creature with blood red eyes and bone white fur. The being offers to grant one wish in return for a life of servitude to several millennia old war between magical girls and witches. Stepping into the dark shadows hidden behind the ordinary life she took for granted, will Madoka be able to resist temptation and see friend from foe? Can she unravel the truth of the centuries old conspiracy and protect those she cares for before the monster of her premonition arrives?

 Sounds good doesn’t it? It is.